


Destructive Relief

by WritingCoffeeAddiction



Series: Drabbles & One-shots [24]
Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bulimia, Drabble, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Purging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 16:05:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18663718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingCoffeeAddiction/pseuds/WritingCoffeeAddiction
Summary: Lorna found the toilet to be her new best friend. The only thing that brought her any form of comfort. Any form of security and stability. Lorna/Nicky.





	Destructive Relief

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the show or characters. All I own is the writing and story.
> 
> Author's Note: I'm sorry I haven't been updating lately. Been kind of dealing and struggling with some things lately. This little drabble is kind of a result of such. It's kind of a more personal one...in a way. Anyway, I have started to work on the next chapter of Valley of Sorrow and will try to have it updated by Sunday. Not making any promises but I will do my best. Feel free to review and let me know your thoughts. Thanks. Enjoy.
> 
> Warning: Based around eating disorder.

_Destructive Relief_

_It's all in your head._ That's all anyone ever told her. It's all just in her head.

 _You need to eat better. Your clothes are getting too snug._ That was something else everyone told her. How she needed to start watching what she ate. How can she let herself go the way she's been doing?

Mixed signals to say the least. What was Lorna supposed to think when everyone around her was claiming she's mental? She clearly heard their words. Clearly understood that losing weight was something she needed to do to get them all the hell off her back. And, now, she was the crazy one? The girl with a few screws loose in her brain? The thought alone was enough to set her off. To have her lock herself in the bathroom for an hour. Maybe she was crazy. They caused this to happen, she thought. Wouldn't stop nagging her about those few extra pounds. She chose to do something to shed them and now,  _she's_  insane.  _She_  needed help.

She found the toilet to be her new best friend. The only thing that brought her any form of comfort. Any form of security and stability. All of her real friends gradually grew distant, always having some reason or another to not talk to her. Her siblings were long out of the house now; her parents busy with their own lives. She had nothing but that damn toilet to help her through all of her inner pain.

Every day, it seemed to worsen. She couldn't seem to stop herself from going through this vicious cycle. She needed it—craved it. She had no idea how to fix herself…how to get out of this hellhole she inadvertently created. But no one else seemed to notice. No one knew how deeply scarred Lorna Morello truly was.

Until, out of the blue, she came across a young woman at a favorite coffee shop. Nicky Nichols. The only person who ever took a deep interest in her, she realized. A person who seemed to read her like a book. Who, within a matter of weeks, was able to see the signs that something wasn't right with her. That she truly and utterly wasn't okay.

The friendship blossomed rapidly. Nicky became a constant part of her life. And that only made it harder to keep her secret hidden from her. Made it a chore and hassle to keep that under wraps. But she vowed to never have anyone find out about it. She couldn't have her only source of comfort taken from her. She absolutely couldn't allow that.

That all changed when Nicky made an unexpected visit. She knocked on the door, waited a few silent moments before she realized that no one was coming. She turned the knob, seeing that it was unlocked, and pushed it open. Immediately, she was met with the sound of faint heaving. She followed where it seemed to come from and found herself standing in the open archway of the bathroom. Her eyes gazing directly at a hunched over Lorna, who retched roughly into the toilet in front of her.

" _Lorna_ ," she murmured.

That voice. Lorna froze. All color left her body. This wasn't supposed to happen. Nicky wasn't supposed to know about this. She didn't budge. Couldn't find it in her to move from her spot.

Nicky felt her heart sink inside her chest. She cautiously entered inside the bathroom, kneeling on the ground right beside the brunette. Her arms instinctively encircled around Lorna's body. "Lorna," she softly repeated, breath trickling against her ear. "How…how come ya never told me about this, kid?"

Lorna opened her mouth several times but couldn't find the words to speak. Tears quickly appeared at the brim of her eyes. She tried to suck them in but they seemed to pour out in truckloads.

"It's okay," the redhead soothed, taking Lorna's face in her hands and wiping a thumb at the tears that soaked her tender flesh. "You're not alone anymore.  _I'm here_ , baby. I'm here for you." She pulled the trembling brunette back into her arms, embracing her snug against her own body. Nothing hurt worse than knowing how badly broken the person she cared so deeply for was.

"I'm-I'm fucked up, hon," she whispered through heartrending sobs.

Shaking her head fiercely, Nicky held her tighter. Brushed her lips tenderly over the flesh of her forehead. "No," she murmured warmly, caressing the tips of her fingers lightly along her cheeks. "You're not anything even remotely related to fucked up. You're perfect, doll. And I will not let ya do this to yourself anymore, ya hear me? I'm here now; I'll take care a you. I'll help you through this, baby. You just need to  _let_ me help. I will help you get better."


End file.
